Tekst piosenki 'Girlfriend' wykonawcy Splinter

I can't believe it's happened once again
I thought that she'd be mine 'till the very end

We were like Romeo and Juliet

She was the greatest girl I've ever met

But now she's watching Ellen on TV

And chilling out to K.D. Lang CD's

She's reading all my girly magazines

And now it's just her head that's shaven clean

I can't believe it's happened once again

My girlfriend has become a lesbian

I found her making out with her best friend

I can't believe it's happened once again

I met her on a blind date through a friend

I knew that she was really into men

And everything she did just felt so right

We'd even split a beer and watch the fight

But when we started fooling 'round and stuff

I noticed that her skin was kind of rough

I wish I'd never gone that extra yard

Cause it wasn't only me who was getting hard

I can't believe it's happened once again

I thought that she was Barbie but she's Ken

I tell you she's a cock and not a hen

I can't believe it's happened once again

I finally found a girl who wears my ring

I checked her out for all the weirdest things…

But then I got a call from the men in black

They asked about the green spots on her back

And why she's always talking to the stars

And eating all the snails in our backyard

I can't believe it's happened once again

My girlfriend's always been an alien

They said they she's been eating all our friends

I can't believe it's happened once again